Roquette Science

December 2004 Dear Editor.

What do you think about a story, working title Roquette Science
On the molecular gastronomists?

Tracing the trend back to Marinetti who in his futurist manifesto Cucina Futurisimo in fascist Italy as well as attributing the demise of Italian supremacy to the slothful practice of eating pasta, invented dishes like salami dunked in coffee to be eaten while stroking a cat to the soundtrack of Wagner in a room sprayed with perfume? [Sound familiar?]

On a more serious note, how, much of the movement is based on pseudo-scientific assertions like The Fat Duck’s Heston Blumental’s justification that white chocolate goes with caviar because they both contain amines?

Amines of course are found in most organic compounds including meth-amphetamine, L.S.D as well as most other foodstuffs. In fact white chocolate has had most of its amines removed which would mean that caviar, if you follow his assumption would go much better with a big dark chocolate on ice. [I've always liked my Beluga with Valhrona.]

I would like to explain how Adria Ferran fits perfectly into the cultural context of the Spanish surrealists as an extension of Dali and Gaudi while the copyists are trying to dazzle us with science providing yet another way of alienating the diner from the cook.

It has always been important for the top end of the restaurant world to keep the diner at a good distance from the professional kitchen. Although the techniques are readily demonstrated and the doodads to make them available we can feel a little silly cooking a piece of beef for 8 to 24 hours at home but bow to the post-future-molecular masters for $$$$ a pop.

Also how molecular [read chemical] winemaking is considered to be the enemy of good wine and natural winemaking traditions are fiercely protected by master winemakers yet no such consideration is given by the new age cooks. This contradiction is ignored by many commentators, we all need the copy. George Lang once told me in 1989 that “ If Joe Shmo wants to read about a capuccino of snail caviar in a cloud of dry ice, who am I to disappoint him?”

I would like to explain how our palates are being seduced by manufactured concentrated flavours that are so strong and wasteful of valuable resources that food matches and combinations need to become more and more intense to satisfy our neophillic needs
I would also like to explain that all this intense food preparation is also extremely useful to a bottom line because many of the preparations are stable for considerable periods of time, allowing the restaurant to dazzle the diner with intricate presentations to justify exorbitant prices for essentially tiny bits of pre-prepared products.

Or to put it another way?

What’s the matter with the food I’m fixing?
“Can’t you tell that it’s out of style?”
Should I be molecular minded?
“If you don’t then you’re in denial.
Don’t you know about the new fashion money
Don’t need bees to make a new-age of honey”
Fat duck, mind fuck, cook muck, big suck
Still sausage rolls for me.


Photo is of a New-Style Sausage Roll from Studio Sunnybrae circa 2004

My excuse for this rant is that its 42 degrees C, some would say the perfect temperature to cook an egg.